Thunderbird Tower

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The Thunderbird Tower in ROFL City, Illinois, United States of America. No, it is not the Sears (or Willis, stupidest name ever) Tower in Chicago, Illinois.

The Thunderbird Tower is the centre of Thunderbirds101 TV on Earth 2, and the second tallest tower known on this wiki. It is located in Rofl City, in the United LOLs of ROFLica (ROFL City, California, in most series). It is the tallest building in the city at 110 floors and in the country, with a height of 575 metres (floors 109 and 110 have higher ceilings than other floors). The building was opened shortly after the events of May 21, 2011, following the devastating Wave of Nothing that swept all inches of Earth 2.

Origins

The Thunderbird Tower was designed by Microsoft Sam's personal Engineering Overseer Robot in April 2011, but details about the concepts and plans were never revealed to the public. Construction began on April 17, 2011. Construction proceeded smoothly for weeks, carried out by Certified Construction Bots provided by the United Lols of Roflica government. However, a major disruption occurred on May 21, 2011. On Harold Camping's predicted date of the Rapture/End of the World, everyone was bracing for a cataclysmic earthquake that would have destroyed the entire city and the world. Instead of a Rapture/quake, a catastrophic Wave of Nothing swept over the planet, resulting in nothing happening. Construction resumed and finished a week later.

Structural Layout

The building is designed into nine different blocks - Blue, Green, Yellow, and Red. Blue Block consists of two blocks extending from the first floor up to Floor 50. Green Block consists of two blocks extending from the first floor up until Floor 64. Yellow Block consists of three blocks extending from the first floor up until Floor 90. Finally, Red Block consists of two massive blocks from the first floor up to Floor 108.

The structural layout of the Thunderbird Tower.

Functions

The tower serves as a direct link between Earth 2 and the Thunderbirds101 TV Space Station in orbit. The twin antenna on the top of the tower provides a connection between the tower and the space station. The antenna also provides an emergency impregnable shield dome to the tower and all areas within a one-hundred kilometre radius should a nuclear attack or other similar disaster take place. The tower itself is 110 stories tall and 10 floors (including 1 basement level, 1 maintenance level, 7 car park levels and 1 sub-basement level) deep. The floors between P7 and 110 are divided into sections as follows:

  • Floors P1-P7 (in decending order) (All Blocks) - Car Park Levels. People working in the Thunderbird Tower or who are staying in the Rofl Hotel can park here. Visitors to the mall park in 3 multi-storey car parks outside the tower, but only 1 is in use normally, the other 2 are used for Black Friday shoppers or as overflow parking when the mall gets extremely busy.
  • Floor B (All Blocks) - IWAY Store. One of the IWAY-Team Stores Inc. Flagship Stores in ROFL City.
  • Floor 1 (All Blocks) - Lobby. The grand entrance to the tower. ROFL War Droids guard the lobby and screen all visitors in through heavily guarded security checkpoints. After clearing the checkpoints, visitors/workers may proceed to one of dozens of elevators to take them up into one of the tower blocks.
  • Floors 2-50 (Blue Block) - Civilian offices. Civilians go to work in these floors. Various companies own the rights to these floors, including the Rofl Military, Anti-Jokermingo Inc., and the IWAY Cookie Company Inc., to name a few.
  • Floors 2-66 (Green Block) - Rofl Hotel. The most popular five-star hotel in Rofl City is also the most expensive. The cheapest room goes for $500 a night, with the luxury suites on the upper floors going at $30,000 a night.
  • Floors 2-45 (Yellow Block) - The Mall. Every major retailer on Earth 2 has a store within this massive mall. Open to the general public.
  • Floors 46-90 (Yellow Block) - VIP Mall. A duplicate of the Mall, but in order to access it one must be either a long-term worker in the tower, or be staying in the Rofl Hotel.
  • Floor 69 (Yellow and Red Blocks) - The Rofl Brothel. Only Thunderbirds101, Sam, and other VIPs permitted inside.
  • Floors 2-79 (Red Block) - Federal government facilities. The Central Intelligence Agency, the NSA, the Department of Homeland Security, and several other agencies have offices within this block of floors.
  • Floors 80-99 (Red Block) - Military facilities. This building is the command center for all ULR forces in the country. All classified documents are stored on this floor. No civilians are permitted on these floors, and trespassers are shot on sight.
  • Floors 100-108 (Red Block) - Thunderbirds101's personal wing of floors. His home/video studio is on the 108th floor. The SOSOwner lives on Floor 100, with the Speakonia Voices living on Floors 101 to 107
  • Floors 109-110 - Military Emergency Facility. In case of an emergency that threatens Rofl City, all soldiers in the tower shall converge on these two floors to initiate emergency procedures. The anti-disaster shields are located on the rooftop above Floor 110.

Accidents

  • August 15, 2005 - A fire broke out on Floor 40 of the original Thunderbird Tower. This resulted in 848 deaths (mostly mall patrons) and over 2,500 injuries. The owners were fined $100,000,000 (or 75,000,000 Eurions) in damages and legal fees. This went to fund the city's airport.
  • May 28, 2011 - Electrical malfunction in the tower, causing a blackout that lasts three hours. No injuries reported.
  • June 1, 2011 - Man dies after falling out off of a 39th floor window, while trying to take a huge dump. The incident is deemed to be a tragic accident.
  • June 11, 2011 - Toilets break down on floors 40-78. Panic ensues as people lose the majority of toilet service, resulting in ten deaths and at least forty injuries. Toilet service restored a day later.
  • October 4, 2011 - Microsoft Sam clogs the toilet system after trying to flush a toilet infested with diarrhea (not his personal diarrhea infested toilet, however). The sewage system suffers great stress and some toilets explode under the pressure. One person is killed from an exploding toilet.
  • March 7, 2013 - A ROFL War Droid malfunctions in the lobby during the early morning hours, short-circuiting and triggering a small explosion. Three people were injured, one seriously.
  • July 4, 2013 - A second blackout occurs, destroying an eighth of the entire electricity lining.

Attacks on the Tower

Attacks have been carried on the tower, primarily by the United Speakonian Soviet Republic.

List of documented attacks:

  • December 12, 2009 - USSR Troops hijacked 2 planes (one to SFO, another to LAX) and crashed them into the newly-rebuilt Thunderbird Tower. The entire city was evacuated and Californian airspace was closed, diverting many planes to Redmond or Portland (both OR) to avoid the closed-off airspace. The USSR was fined $1,000,000,000 for damages. The tower had to be rebuilt again.
  • May 30, 2011 - ROFL-6 Nerve Gas contaminates the downtown core, after a chemical attack on the Rofl House in the western suburbs of Rofl City. The shield generator activates on the tower and prevents gas from entering the area in a ten-kilometre radius of the building. Following the incident, the Rofl House is relocated to Roflington DC.
  • June 6, 2011 - United Speakonian Soviet Republic agents attack the building, engaging in a major shootout with ROFL War Droids. Two War Droids destroyed, one civilian killed, all Soviet agents killed. Later inspections revealed these agents to have defected from the USSR due to lack of war action.
  • June 19, 2011 - Radar Overseer Scotty has a mental breakdown on the 104th floor of the building, trashing the floor with baloney sandwiches. He was arrested and sent to a psychiatric facility on Floor 5.
  • July 1, 2011 - Man in Rofl Hotel opens fire with stolen Rofl-47 on floor 11, killing seven civilians and injuring fifteen. ROFL War Droids kill the attacker as he attempts to flee.
  • July 7, 2011 - Renegade Predator Drone crashes into the Tower between floors 44-50, severely damaging the building, and killing at least forty. Certified Construction Bots fix the damage in two days.
  • July 30, 2011 - After learning that his tower was destroyed, EmergencyRanger88 commanded his troops to invade the Thunderbird Tower. Later reports indicated that the soldiers sent were all slaughtered by Rofl War Droids guarding the tower as they entered. EmergencyRanger88 was charged with high treason and sentenced to deportation to the USSR and a ban from ever entering the United States of America ever again.
  • September 29, 2011 - Dozens of angry homeless people try to attack the tower. All all slaughtered by ROFL War Droids. No other casualties sustained.
  • November 10, 2011 - Dozens of North Korean troops attempt to stage a full scale invasion of the Thunderbird Tower, but the Rofl War Droids, along with emergencyranger88, Thunderbirds101, and pieboy6000, slaughter the interlopers. Three Rofl War Droids were destroyed, and all of the North Korean troops were slain.
  • November 29, 2011 - A bomb explodes on Floor 3, in a civilian office owned by Anti-Jokermingo Inc. Four people were killed and six injured. The attack was discovered to have been carried out by a young man, a USSR citizen who was a passionate supporter of the late Jokermingo0044.
  • December 6, 2011 - Four unidentified gunmen attack the lobby with Rofl-12 shotguns. Three civilians are injured, one is killed, and all four gunmen are killed by Rofl War Droids.
  • February 25, 2012 - As a massive Soviet Lulz Brigade attack force laid siege on the Pieboy Tower in Canada, the Thunderbird Tower is also attacked by a smaller SLB force, consisting of 250 soldiers. The SLB soldiers engage in a massive shootout in the lobby, and some of the attackers slip past the Rofl War Droids and enter the Civilian Offices. 91 civilians are killed, 244 SLB soldiers are killed, and four Rofl War Droids are destroyed. The six surviving SLB soldiers are executed by being disemboweled by Rofl War Droids armed with chainsaws.

Other Notable Events

  • December 1, 2011 - Renovations carried out at the tower. Anti-disaster shield generator now able to cover a one-hundred kilometre radius. Rofl War Droids are outfitted with a new rifle known as the Laser of Doom, capable of vaporizing a human with a single shot. A large laser beam weapon is constructed on the roof with the shield, capable of shooting down missiles, aircraft, and spaceships with impunity.
  • December 21, 2012 - A huge Wave of Nothing smashes into the tower, causing nothing to happen. Panic ensues as magnitude zero earthquakes shake the tower, and massive one nanometer wide meteorites crash into the tower, causing no damage.
  • December 22-28, 2012 - Major renovations are undertaken on the tower.
  • Mid 2017-September 2018 - Elevators are refurbished with some having to be replaced.
  • December 2019 - Microsoft Sam gets his own special vacuum toilet, with a separate sewage system to the other toilets.