Changes

#No handstands on the toilet. (Don't even think about it. All it takes is one sudden loss of gravity and we've got a turdnado on our hands.)

#No handstands on the toilet. (Don't even think about it. All it takes is one sudden loss of gravity and we've got a turdnado on our hands.)

#No whimpering and shitting and regretting your poor life choices. (Who cares if you've lost your job and your money and your girlfriend? The toilet only wants your shit, not your personal problems.)

#No whimpering and shitting and regretting your poor life choices. (Who cares if you've lost your job and your money and your girlfriend? The toilet only wants your shit, not your personal problems.)

#No performing a spontaneous musical number. (Don't miss the thrilling new musical - ''Butthole Blockage on Broadway''!)

#No performing a spontaneous musical number. (Don't miss the thrilling new musical "Butthole Blockage on Broadway"!)

'''Part 3'''

'''Part 3'''

#Sit and shit while concentrating intensely. (Focus on blasting all that anal fudge out of your anus at blazing speed. Nothing else matters.)

#Sit and shit while concentrating intensely. (Focus on blasting all that anal fudge out of your anus at blazing speed. Nothing else matters.)

#No sitting and smoking and shitting like a damn retard. (No one wants to fucking see your smoky diarrhea spewing out your butthole.)

#No sitting and smoking and shitting like a damn retard. (No one wants to fucking see your smoky diarrhea spewing out your butthole.)

#No leaving the bathroom while leaving the faucet running. (The toilet gods will show no mercy to those who flood the bathroom.)

#No leaving the bathroom while leaving the faucet running. (The toilet gods will show no mercy to those who flood the bathroom.)

#No peeing in front of the toilet. (Bitch you're standing like a foot away from the toilet just aim your fuckity fuck fucking penis fucking properly!)

#No peeing in front of the toilet. (BITCH YOU'RE STANDING LIKE A FOOT AWAY FROM THE TOILET JUST AIM YOUR FUCKITY FUCK FUCKING PENIS FUCKING PROPERLY!!!)

#No pointing dramatically at the faucet. (''Bum Bum BUMMMMMMMMM'')

#No pointing dramatically at the faucet. (Bum Bum BUMMMMMMMMM)

#No washing your feet in the sink. (Your toenail jam will clog the fucking sink, so keep your disgusting feet the fuck out of the sink.)

#No washing your feet in the sink. (Your toenail jam will clog the fucking sink, so keep your disgusting feet the fuck out of the sink.)

#No creating magnificent art pieces with your own feces. (Check out my modern art!)

#No creating magnificent art pieces with your own feces. (Check out my modern art!)

#No sitting and shitting like a damn retard. (Christmas is coming, the turd is getting fat, no one wants to see it spewing out just like that!)

#No sitting and shitting like a damn retard. (Christmas is coming, the turd is getting fat, no one wants to see it spewing out just like that!)

#No leaving the bathroom without flushing your shit down the toilet. (Flush that smelly fucking shit away, unless your enemy is using the toilet next and you want to put your chemical weapon to good use.)

#No leaving the bathroom without flushing your shit down the toilet. (Flush that smelly fucking shit away, unless your enemy is using the toilet next and you want to put your chemical weapon to good use.)

#No performing a musical number on the toilet. (''Proceeds to play banjo'' Come on come on, squeeze those turds out those buttholes!)

#No performing a musical number on the toilet. ("Proceeds to play banjo" Come on come on, squeeze those turds out those buttholes!)

===Episode 45===

===Episode 45===

'''Part 1'''

'''Part 1'''

#Sit and shit in an orderly manner. (Sit up straight and prepare those buttocks for a massive anal evacuation. No matter how painfully volcanic your diarrhea dump feels like as it shreds your anus, keep those buttocks firmly on the toilet seat.)

#Sit and shit in an orderly manner. (Sit up straight and prepare those buttocks for a massive anal evacuation. No matter how painfully volcanic your diarrhea dump feels like as it shreds your anus, keep those buttocks firmly on the toilet seat.)

#No standing and spewing your disgusting hippopotamus diarrhea dump all over the fucking toilet. (You disgusting fucking shit. Don't even fucking think of turning the toilet into your latest modern art piece - ''The Spectacularly Shitty Shitter''!)

#No standing and spewing your disgusting hippopotamus diarrhea dump all over the fucking toilet. (You disgusting fucking shit! Don't even fucking think of turning the toilet into your latest modern art piece "The Spectacularly Shitty Shitter".)

 

'''Part 2'''

'''Part 2'''

#No peeing in the toilet standing up. (Bitch we have 5 urinals in this fucking bathroom stop wasting one of our precious toilets with your pathetic fucking piss and use the fucking urinal god fucking dammit!)

#No peeing in the toilet standing up. (BITCH WE HAVE 5 URINALS IN THIS FUCKING BATHROOM STOP WASTING ONE OF OUR PRECIOUS TOILETS WITH YOUR PATHETIC FUCKING PISS AND USE THE FUCKING URINAL GOD FUCKING DAMN IT!!!)

#Sit and shit while enjoying a huge ass slice of pizza. (The pizza's good, but these desserts just suck. Urinal cakes taste like absolute piss.)

#Sit and shit while enjoying a huge-ass slice of pizza. (The pizza's good, but these desserts just suck. Urinal cakes taste like absolute piss.)

#Sit and shit in an orderly manner. (Concentrate and think deeply, as a colossal bowel behemoth bursts from your butthole.)

#Sit and shit in an orderly manner. (Concentrate and think deeply as a colossal bowel behemoth bursts from your butthole.)

#No peeing in the toilet standing up. (This redundant rule brought to you by the rules of redundancy in the department of redundant rules department.)

#No peeing in the toilet standing up. (This redundant rule brought to you by the Rules of Redundancy in the Department of Redundant Rules Department.)

#No sitting and shitting like a damn retard. (Yes, we know you ate baked beans, creamed corn, and surströmming last night. No, we do not fucking need to see it spewing out your super-tight butthole at 45 mph.)

#No sitting and shitting like a damn retard. (Yes, we know you ate baked beans, creamed corn, and surstromming last night. No, we do not fucking need to see it spewing out your super-tight butthole at 45 mph.)

 

'''Part 3'''

'''Part 3'''

#No peeing in the toilet standing up. (Peeing in the toilet standing up will summon violent storm clouds that will engulf the skies and strike lightning upon the penises of those who would dare violate this sacred rule for the toilet. Do not be foolish.)

#No peeing in the toilet standing up. (Peeing in the toilet standing up will summon violent storm clouds that will engulf the skies and strike lightning upon the penises of those who would dare violate this sacred rule for the toilet. Do not be foolish.)

#Be hip. Be cool. Sit and shit in an orderly manner. (Fucking hell this ukulele vlog music is so goddamn overused!)

#Be hip! Be cool! Sit and shit in an orderly manner!

===Episode 46===

===Episode 46===

#Sit and shit in an orderly manner. (We don't fucking care if it feels like and sounds like a fucking volcano exploding out your super-tight butthole, sit and fucking shit like a good boy.)

#Sit and shit in an orderly manner. (We don't fucking care if it feels like and sounds like a fucking volcano exploding out your super-tight butthole, sit and fucking shit like a good boy.)

#No peeing on the toilet seat standing up. (Point fucking blank range and you can't even hit the fucking bowl. It's bad enough we have to see your disgusting penis, but now you're making a pissy mess that's pissing me the fuck off and I will make you clean this fucking pissy shit up.)

#No peeing on the toilet seat standing up. (Point fucking blank range and you can't even hit the fucking bowl. It's bad enough we have to see you disgusting penis, but now you're making a pissy mess that's pissing me the fuck off, and I will make you clean this fucking pissy shit up.)

#No praying for a healthy bowel movement after you've just eaten a fuck ton of super spicy Mexican food. (Or is that no puking in the toilet? Fuck it, either works.)

#No praying for a healthy bowel movement after you've just eaten a fuck ton of super spicy Mexican food. (Or is that no puking in the toilet? Fuck it, either works.)

#No sitting and shitting like a damn retard. (Nobody needs to fucking see the Yellowstone geyser of diarrhea spewing out your anus at 93 mph.)

#No sitting and shitting like a damn retard. (Nobody needs to fucking see the Yellowstone geyser of diarrhea spewing out your anus at 93 mph.)

#No pissing in the toilet like a bitch. (Yes, you may have the world's most proficient penis aiming skills. No, do not fucking pee like a bitch, just use the fucking urinals.)

#No pissing in the toilet like a bitch. (Yes, you may have the world's most proficient penis aiming skills. No, do not fucking pee like a bitch, just use the fucking urinals.)

===Episode 47===

===Episode 47===

'''Toilet Rules'''

'''Toilet Rules Part 1'''

#Sit and shit in an orderly manner. (Place your big booty butt cheeks on the toilet and sit up straight, that shit isn't coming out if you slouch like a gamer. Only the best posture will allow that massive shit to shoot out your super-tight butthole. But if you get shit stuck on your butt crack, just give your butt cheeks a good slap and hope that butt slap knocks that shit out. Just don't disturb the other bathroom users.)

#Sit and shit in an orderly manner. (Place your big booty butt cheeks on the toilet and sit up straight, that shit isn't coming out if you slouch like a gamer. Only the best posture will allow that massive shit to shoot out your super-tight butthole. But if you get shit stuck on your buttcrack, just give your butt cheeks a good slap and hope that butt slap knocks that shit out. Just don't disturb the other bathroom users.)

#No sitting and shitting like a damn retard. (The last time someone sat and shat like a damn retard, it was in the middle of a tornado. The tornado burst into the bathroom, absorbed all that damn shit, and became a massive EF5 tornado that killed everyone in the town. Ain't that some shit?)

#No sitting and shitting like a damn retard. (The last time someone sat and shat like a damn retard, it was in the middle of a tornado. The tornado burst into the bathroom, absorbed all that damn shit, and became a massive EF5 turdnado that killed everyone in the town. Aint that some shit!)

 

'''Shower Rules'''

'''Shower Rules'''

*No having a shower while you're standing outside of the fucking bathtub.

*No having a shower while you're standing outside of the fucking bathtub.

'''Urinal Rules'''

'''Urinal Rules'''

#Stand and pee in an orderly manner. (Keep those shoulders straight as you show everyone how hard you can pee. Make eye contact to assert dominance and scare everyone else away from the urinals so you can pee in peace.)

#Stand and pee in an orderly manner. (Keep those shoulders straight as you show everyone how hard you can pee. Make eye contact to assert dominance and scare everyone else away from the urinals so you can pee in peace.)

#No piss poor pissing aim. (Point fucking blank range, how the fuck can you miss from that close? Then again, having a boner can make your piss spray like a tornado.)

#No piss-poor pissing aim. (Point fucking blank range, how the fuck can you miss from that close? Then again, having a boner can make your piss spray like a tornado.)

#No peeing in the urinal with your foot on the urinal. (Now we can all see your disgusting penis and your piss poor penis aim.)

#No peeing in the urinal with your foot on the urinal. (Now we can all see your disgusting penis and your piss-poor penis aim.)

#No challenge pissing. (Pissy parabolas are too fucking easy. Piss six feet straight up and not get wet, then we'll fucking talk.)

#No challenge pissing. (Pissy parabolas are too fucking easy. Piss six feet straight up and not get wet, then we'll fucking talk.)

'''More Toilet Rules'''

 

#Sit and shit in an orderly manner. (Keep that butthole aimed directly at the toilet bowl, as you blast out all that anal fudge out of your anus.)

'''Toilet Rules Part 2'''

#No sitting and shitting like a damn retard. (Nobody, and I mean fucking nobody, needs to see the fucking creamed corn and baked beans and surströmming you ate last night spewing out your super-tight butthole at 98 mph.)

#Sit and shit in an orderly manner. (Keep that butthole aimed directly at the toilet bowl as you blast out all that anal fudge out of your anus.)

#No sitting and shitting like a damn retard on the floor. (Bitch the toilet is right fuckity fucking there how hard is it to sit your stupid fat ass down on the fucking toilet and sit like a normal fucking person god fuckity fucking bitch ass crap or damn it!)

#No sitting and shitting like a damn retard. (Nobody, and I mean fucking nobody, needs to see the fucking creamed corn and baked beans and surstromming you ate last night spewing out your super-tight butthole at 98 mph.)

#No sitting and shitting like a damn retard on the floor. (BITCH THE TOILET IS RIGHT FUCKITY FUCK FUCKING THERE HOW HARD IS IT TO SIT YOUR STUPID FAT ASS DOWN ON THE FUCKING TOILET AND SHIT LIKE A NORMAL FUCKING PERSON GOD FUCKITY FUCK FUCKING BITCH-ASS CRAP WHORE DAMN IT!!!)

#Put your disgusting diarrhea-covered used toilet paper in the toilet. (Unless you need the used toilet paper as a biological weapon, throw that shit away.)

#Put your disgusting diarrhea-covered used toilet paper in the toilet. (Unless you need the used toilet paper as a biological weapon, throw that shit away.)

#No flushing trash down the toilet. Use the trash can outside. (OK, away goes Mary's shitty music collection.)

#No flushing trash down the toilet. Use the trash can outside. (OK, away goes Mary's shitty music collection.)

#Close the lid after you're done sitting and shitting. (Huh, but no requirement to flush after using the toilet. Hah hah.)

#Close the lid after you're done sitting and shitting. (Huh, but no requirement to flush after using the toilet. Heh heh heh.)

===Sochi Rules===

===Sochi Rules===

[[File:Rules_for_the_Olympic_toilet.jpg|thumb|200px]]

[[File:Rules_for_the_Olympic_toilet.jpg|thumb|200px]]