Changes

#Close the lid after you're done sitting and shitting. (Huh, but no requirement to flush after using the toilet. Heh heh heh.)

#Close the lid after you're done sitting and shitting. (Huh, but no requirement to flush after using the toilet. Heh heh heh.)

===Episode 48===

===Episode 48===

'''Toilet Rules Part 1'''

'''Men's Toilet Rules'''

#No sitting and peeing like a damn retard. (I just know you're going to lose control and end up spewing out a geyser of explosive diarrhea out your super-tight butthole.)

#No sitting and peeing like a damn retard. (I just know you're going to lose control and end up spewing out a geyser of explosive diarrhea out your super-tight butthole.)

#No freestyle peeing in the toilet. ("Look ma, no hands!")

#No freestyle peeing in the toilet. (Look Ma, no hands!)

#No having a loud ass phone conversation while peeing in the toilet standing up. (And she was all like, "I don't even like lamb chops", so I was like, "But what about, like, what about the lamb steak you literally ate literally like yesterday? Like, I don't even, like, get it.")

#No having a loud-ass phone conversation while peeing in the toilet standing up. (And she was all like, "I don't even like lamb chops", so I was like, "But what about, like, what about the lamb steak you literally ate literally like yesterday?" Like, I don't even, like, get it.)

#No pissing a pissy parabola into the toilet. (Hey, check out this neat little piss trick!)

#No pissing a pissy parabola into the toilet. (Hey, check out this neat little piss trick!)

'''Toilet Rules Part 2 (Ladies' Toilet Rules)'''

'''Ladies' Toilet Rules (feat. Microsoft Mary)'''

#No sitting and peeing like a damn retard. (Ladies, are you trying to look like those uncivilized creatures in the other bathroom? Sit your ass down and pee like all fair ladies should.)

#No sitting and peeing like a damn retard. (Ladies, are you trying to look like those uncivilized creatures in the other bathroom? Sit your ass down and pee like all fair ladies should.)

#No doing your makeup while peeing all over the, CLOSED, toilet seat. You're trying to multitask and now you're turning the ladies' bathroom into the men's bathroom. Once I clean this fucking piss up, I'm going to put on my best look "The Pissed Off Bitch".)

#No doing your makeup while peeing all over the CLOSED toilet seat. (You're trying to multitask and now you're turning the ladies' bathroom into the men's bathroom! Once I clean this fucking piss up, I'm going to put on my best look, "The Pissed-Off Bitch".)

#No constructing a massive porcelain throne with an entire goddamned roll of toilet paper. (All will kneel before Mary, Queen of Shits.)

#No constructing a massive porcelain throne with an entire goddamn roll of toilet paper. (All will kneel before Mary, Queen of Shits!)

#No peeing in the toilet standing up. (Ignore the sign. Assert dominance over other bitches and pee in the toilet standing up.)

#No peeing in the toilet standing up. (Ignore the sign. Assert dominance over other bitches and pee in the toilet standing up.)

'''Toilet Rules Part 3'''

'''Tons and Tons of Rules'''

#Sit and shit in an orderly manner. (Ponder all your life decisions and focus intensely as you really try to squeeze out that constipated bowel behemoth from your butthole.)

#Sit and shit in an orderly manner. (Ponder all your life decisions and focus intensely as you really try to squeeze out that constipated bowel behemoth from your butthole.)

#No smoking and shitting. (Yeah, smoking makes my voice sound deep. Deep, just like this massive fucking turd stuck in my anus.)

#No smoking and shitting. (Yeah, smoking makes my voice sound deep. Deep, just like this massive fucking turd stuck in my anus.)

#No peeing in front of the toilet. (Yes, your penis is so small it can't even hit the toilet bowl.)

#No peeing in front of the toilet. (Yes, your penis is so small it can't even hit the toilet bowl.)

#No throwing garbage into the toilet. (This includes your screaming little air raid sirens.)

#No throwing garbage into the toilet. (This includes your screaming little air raid sirens.)

#No sitting and shitting on the toilet tank. (It's bad enough you clog the bowl, but if I find a massive fucking turd in the tank I will shove the toilet up your stupid ass.)

#No sitting and shitting on the toilet tank. (It's bad enough you clog the bowl, but if I find a massive fucking turd in the tank, I will shove the toilet up your stupid ass.)

#No performing intense, climactic action on the toilet. (Well, that's one way to loosen up that super-tight butthole.)

#No performing intense, climactic action on the toilet. (Well, that's one way to loosen up that super-tight butthole.)

#No sleeping on the toilet. (Counting sheep helps, counting shit does not.)

#No sleeping on the toilet. (Counting sheep helps, counting shit does not.)

#No sleeping on the bathroom floor. (The floor has been pissed on, shit on, and god knows what else. Sleep tight.)

#No sleeping on the bathroom floor. (the floor has been pissed on, shit on, and God knows what else. Sleep tight.)

#No setting the toilet bowl on fire and having a campfire. (Ah, roasted turds over an open fire!)

#No setting the toilet bowl on fire and having a campfire. (Ah, roasted turds over an open fire!)

#No stealing the entire fucking toilet and running away like a maniac. (Toilet Man, Toilet Man, does whatever a toilet can. Takes a dump, any size, clogs the pipes, plunger cries, look out, here comes the Toilet Man!)

#No stealing the entire fucking toilet and running away like a maniac. (Toilet Man, Toilet Man, does whatever a toilet can! Takes a dump, any size, clogs the pipes, plunger cries, LOOK OUT! Here comes the Toilet Man!)

#No skiing on the toilet. (The bunny slope is too easy. The butthole slope is for only the most extreme skiers.)

#No skiing on the toilet. (The Bunny Slope is too easy, the Butthole Slope is for only the most extreme skiers.)

#No planting a tree in the toilet bowl. (You can't stop me, the Goddamn Microsoft Sam will grow a tree "The Mighty Shitquoia"!)

#No planting a tree in the toilet bowl. (You can't stop me, the goddamn Microsoft Sam will grow a tree, the mighty Shitquoia!)

#Point at the toilet paper and say, "Toilet paper!"

 

 

#Sit and shit in an orderly manner. (The butler will be along shortly with a selection of fine wines to sip while you're taking a fine shit.)

#No peeing in the urinal like a bitch. (GOD FUCKING DAMN IT WHY CAN'T YOU PEOPLE PISS PROPERLY?!)

===Sochi Rules===

===Sochi Rules===