Microsoft Sam (Kenstertube/RoboFreaks)
Samuel Aarohn Microsoft (better known as Microsoft Sam) (born February 17, 1986) is a former member of Microsoft's Speech Recognition Division who was a part of the division alongside Mike and Mary from 1999-2006 during the release of Windows Vista. Sam resides in Rofltown USA where he lives with his siblings (from eldest to youngest, Mary, Anna, Mike, David, Zira, and Hazel), as well as his two cousins, Eva and Mark, not to mention his wife IVONA Kimberly, and her brother Eric, as well as Anna's boyfriend Richard Reynolds (or Microsoft Richard, not to be confused with the real Microsoft Richard from Windows 10, voiced by Truvoice Sidney/Adult Male#2 - American English), and his Geotoplin robot assistant Carl. Radar Overseer Scotty usually comes by to Sam's dismay, and of course, Sam also doesn't like it when Bacon, Gold, and Watermelon pester him. Sam's address is 95 Windmill Street and that means he lives next door to his rival, Mac Alex who really hates Sam for hating Apple, making Alex a huge iSheep (He even takes offense from that).
|Name||Samuel Aarohn Microsoft|
|Voiced By||Microsoft Sam (SAPI 4)|
|Born||Feburary 17th, 1986|
|Likes||Tacos, Windows XP, Windows 7, |
Windows 2000, IWAY Cookies, Video Games (especially consoles from the 4th-6th generations and older PC games).
|Hates||Windows Vista, Internet Explorer, Windows ME, Windows 8, Windows 10, Highway Cookies, Bologna Sandwiches, Apple products (especially Macs and iPhones).|
|Friends||IVONA Kimberly (his wife/love interest), |
Microsoft Mike (on and off),
Microsoft Richard (after being cured from being mind-controlled),
Carl (after being de-reprogrammed),
AT&T Mike (after betraying the Naturals),
Radar Overseer Scotty (sometimes),
Mac Fred Jr.,
The Robot Mikes and Marys,
Lightning Overseer Fredrick,
Natural Microsoft Sam,
Natural Microsoft Mike,
Natural Microsoft Mary,
Microsoft Richard (formerly),
AT&T Mike (formerly),
Radar Overseer Scotty (sometimes)
|Family||Microsoft Steven (father)|
Microsoft Allison (mother)
Microsoft Mary (sister)
Microsoft Anna (sister)
Microsoft Mike (brother)
Microsoft David (brother)
Microsoft Zira (sister)
Microsoft Hazel (adopted sister)
Microsoft Eva (cousin)
Microsoft Mark (cousin)
IVONA Kimberly (wife)
IVONA Eric (brother-in-law)
|Eye Color||Sapphire Blue|
Sam was born to Steven Harold Microsoft and Allison Jane Kazin Microsoft on February 17th, 1986. When he was 6 months old, his mother Allison was pregnant with two fraternal twins (Mary and Anna) and when they went to a ROFLCopter convention, Sam drank ROFLCopter fluid causing the fluid to defect his vocal cords, preventing him from saying the word "Soy" properly, his parents almost immediately took him to the hospital before he drank more of it to the point where he might end up dying from drinking more fluid. The doctor told his parents he is still very healthy but might end up not pronouncing certain words (which explains why he has trouble pronouncing words all the time), His siblings Mary and Anna were born on January 30, 1987, some of Sam's toys were hand-me-downs, which unlike most children in his age back then, Sam didn't mind, he didn't care or play with them. Right before Mike was born (on June 25th, 1988), Sam started to speak, his first word was SOI. Sam's parents took him to a speech therapist, in which the ROFLCopter fluid he drank 2 years ago led them to learn that he cannot pronounce soy correctly. One day, his parents bought Taco Bell on the day the restaurant first opened in Rofltown on July 23rd, 1988, and they had Sam try one for the first time and Sam has since been on a never-ending obsession with tacos ever since.
In 1989, he started to play video games when his family bought an NES and the first game he ever played was Super Mario Bros., it didn't take that long before he became a fan of video games, he later became a big-time gamer by his 5th birthday when he got a Gameboy and Sega Genesis, while he loved playing Gameboy and the Genesis, he became really interested when on August 11th, 1991 when he was watching Nickelodeon in favor of watching the premiere of the first Nicktoons (Doug, Rugrats and Ren & Stimpy) he saw a Super Nintendo commercial and begged his parents to buy it. They later got it for him at Christmas and he loved playing Super Mario World and F-Zero.
Sam's Introduction to Microsoft, MS-DOS, Windows and the Internet
Sam started to become a PC User when his parents bought a Packard Bell Legend 600X PC with MS-DOS preinstalled. Sam didn't understand DOS too well at the time, so his parents bought Windows 3.1, which was Sam's introduction to Microsoft Windows. Sam was mesmerized by Windows 3.1 and became skilled with it.
When Sam was playing with Mike, Mike was squealing causing Sam to say he talks like a lady, and yep, that was when Sam started to tell Mike that he talks like a lady, and that's been an ongoing thing for years. Sam later gave all of his old stuff from when he was a baby to his two newborn fraternal twin siblings David and Zira (They were both born on August 1, 1992), Sam went to Rofltown Elementary from Kindergarten-5th Grade, Sam didn't think school was good, but he still got Cs, Bs and As in his classes. When Windows 95 came out, Sam had a choice between a PlayStation or Windows 95. Sam chose Windows 95 and installed that on the Packard Bell computer, but that computer ended up crashing, so Sam wanted a new computer, they later bought a new computer, a Packard Bell Legend 130CD Supreme, and Sam was a non-stop user of that computer, he eventually got a PlayStation for Christmas in 1995. Sam met his cousins Eva and Mark (born on July 29th, 1995) who were the children of Steven's brother Issac, who was also Steven's assistant at Rofltown Cable.
In 1996, When Sam's father, Steven's cable company Rofltown Cable started their internet division, Steven installed dial-up on the computer. Sam became impressed with the internet, it was like nothing he's ever seen before. The internet division of Rofltown Cable had a contract with Mosaic Communications Corporation (later Netscape) to have their dial-up modem installation floppy disks and CDs to come preinstalled with Mosaic's internet browser, Netscape Navigator, which was the first browser Sam has ever used. Sam's family went on a trip to the Midlands in the United Kingdom, where they met a little girl named Hazel, who's parents were killed in a fire, so she was adopted by Sam's family and had Hazel be brought home in America, in which Hazel was given citizenship through the convention process. Sam and his family were Hazel's guide to America, to make her familiar with America at a young age (she was born on October 26, 1992, and she was 4 in 1996).
As for Sam, he became a full-time Windows user, and while using MSN, Sam became familiar with Internet Explorer. Sam used Internet Explorer (The version he used was IE 2.01) and he grew a distaste for Internet Explorer. Sam watched and became an inspired fan of a show called Commodore Sam Reads Funny Commodore 64 Error Messages (running from 1994-2002) on the local independent station WNKU-TV (UHF Channel 14) (Winkru-TV) during a post-WB and UPN era of broadcast television during the trend of movie studios starting their own broadcast TV networks to compete against The Big Three, implying that if 20th Century Fox can start their own TV Network, so can Warner Bros and Paramount.
Sam got a Nintendo 64 on Christmas 1996, and he played Super Mario 64 all Christmas, as well as Crash Bandicoot on his PlayStation, in which he also got. Sam graduated from Elementary School in 1997 and was satisfied but he was gonna hate Middle School (He went to Rofltown Middle School and was there from 1997-2000). Sam would also start getting into RPGs and First Person Shooters like he was interested in platformers beforehand and eventually, he anticipated on getting Squaresoft's Final Fantasy VII, and was impressed by the graphics and cutscenes of that game to the point where Sam became a fan of RPGs, the game that got him into first-person shooters was iD's Doom, he played that game a lot on his computer when it's on DOS Mode. Sam would start getting an allowance from his chores. He later spent all his money on IWAY Cookies after leaving school.
On June 25th, 1998, on Mike's 10th birthday, Mike gave Sam a new computer, and it was a Gateway PC with a Pentium II and Windows 98, Mike gave Sam the present on his own birthday after Sam gave Mike a $10 coupon card for FuncoLand, because according to Mike, Birthdays are not just about you, but are about the people around you who want you to have a nice birthday.
Puberty, Joining Microsoft, and his Teenage Years
In late 1998, Sam was getting into puberty and his voice changed to the point where he sounds like how you'd normally hear him. In late 1999, Microsoft was working on Windows NT 5.0 (Soon to be Windows 2000, while looking for auditions, Bill Gates, Steve Ballmer, and a few Lernout and Hauspie employees were taking a business trip to Rofltown and came across Sam, Mike, and Mary at a newly opened Walmart in Rofltown. Mike already sounded like himself as you normally hear him by the age of 11, and Mary also sounded like herself by the age of 12, The Lernout and Hauspie employees took the three kids in an audition room for a new Microsoft Speech Engine codenamed WHISTLER as part of their Microsoft Speech Application Programming Interface (or Microsoft SAPI for short), Bill and Steve were impressed with them pronouncing all the words in the dictionary until Sam pronounced Soy, he did his infamous mispronunciation of that word. Bill and Steve were tempted to delete his recorded voice lines as a result, but Sam told them why he mispronounced it, they understood and kept his voice into Windows anyway, and Sam, Mike, and Mary became a part of Microsoft's Speech Recognition Division in 1999. Sam, Mike, and Mary would later continue their lives in Rofltown. In Christmas of 1999, Sam received a Dreamcast, his first Sega console after the Genesis (He didn't want a Sega Saturn), as well as Final Fantasy VIII.
After worrying about Y2K, Sam received a call from Microsoft. Microsoft told him that Windows 2000 will feature him as the voice of that OS, along with Mike and Mary being optional voices. Sam was even sent a copy of Windows 2000 on his 14th birthday (which was also the release date for Windows 2000), as well as a new Dell PC with a Pentium 3. Sam graduated Middle School in June of 2000 and went to Rofltown High School in August, where he met IVONA Eric and IVONA Kimberly. Sam almost immediately became friends with them, that same day (August 29th, 2000), A Young, Wet-behind-the-ears, 11-year-old Radar Overseer Committee member, Scott Remy Orville (better known as Radar Overseer Scotty) was going door-to-door telling people how Radar Machines can save people from Hurricanes, and Sam came across Scotty while coming home from school, Sam was getting bored of Scotty lecturing him about Radar Machines and shuts the door on him.
Sam later learned that Scotty was a new kid in Rofltown that moved in across the street from where Sam lived at the time. Sam and Kimberly started dating by the beginning of November and had never been closer. High School was also where Sam met Alex. Alex saw Sam walking by with a Windows 2000 Launch T-Shirt on, and Alex shouted "WINDOWS 2000 SUCKS, MAC OS 9 IS WAY BETTER!", Sam told him to shut up afterward, and Alex flipped Sam off... causing Sam to hate Alex. Sam's experience with Apple started in 1989 when he saw a Macintosh IIfx Ad and had neutral thoughts on it, but when the iMac G3 came out, he actually liked the design of that computer, he even used a Mac at school once and thought it was nothing to write home about, but after meeting Alex, Sam hated Apple as much as he hated Alex, on September 14th, 2000, Microsoft had Sam try out Windows ME and hated it, Microsoft gave him $300, and on October 25th, 2000, Sam spent it on a PlayStation 2. Sam told his family it was his gift to them and told them it was more than a gaming system, but also a DVD player. The family started renting and buying DVDs after that.
In 2001, Sam was informed by Microsoft that they will make a more Natural sounding version of his TTS voice on Windows 2000 via converting SAPI4 to SAPI5, Lernout and Hauspie had succeeded it with converting two people's TTS Voices (Michael Lernout Hauspie, and Michelle Lernout Hauspie) from SAPI4 to SAPI5, Microsoft had done the same to Sam, Mike, and Mary's voices, which ended up butchering their voices, the program was in beta, it worked with Michael & Michelle due to them recording their voices 3 years prior to Sam, Mike, and Mary recording theirs and it shows through the lower quality microphone that only recorded in 11025 kHz. Sam didn't mind the new SAPI5 version of his voice, but Microsoft, as well as Lernout & Hauspie, were going to fix Sam's new SAPI5 TTS voice, however, Microsoft was in the middle of working on the new Windows version (codenamed Whistler) and Lernout and Hauspie went bankrupt because of a fraud engineered by the management, so the SAPI5 TTS voice was never fixed.
That new Windows version that was codenamed Whistler was officially named Windows XP and Sam couldn't wait until Windows XP was released. Sam was also informed by Microsoft about the new DirectX Box prior to E3 2001. The DirectX Box was later named the Xbox.
September 11th, 2001 was an important day in history, in Sam's point of view, he woke up and got ready for School at 6:00 AM, Sam walked to High School and by the time he went to class. It was 8:00 AM, Sam was just having a normal day, but by 8:48 AM, during second period, a shelter in place was put in effect. His teacher Mrs. Carlson hooked up the TV. Once she got an e-mail about the plane crashes in the World Trade Center. Sam was just as shocked as everyone. Sam was feeling empathy for the people who died as much as everyone else, and by the time the second tower was hit at 9:02, Sam broke down in tears due to his anxiety. Sam reacted as everyone else did and felt the same way, and he was sad because he always wanted to go inside the buildings if he ever went to New York, but he was also very devastated by the deaths of the people who lost their lives to the attacks and on the next day, Sam was eager to tell everyone to Stay Brave, Stay Safe, and Never Forget, and he got the chance by having permission to tell it to everyone through the intercom, Sam never felt prouder of himself in his life, considering the events that happened the day prior, Sam never forgot 9/11 and his motivation speech through the intercom.
Sam and Kimberly were deciding to have a date on September 18th, 2001. They had a date at the Rofltown Restaurant. It was the best date of Sam's life. When Sam was walking by Alex, Alex told him about how the iPod was gonna kill the CD Walkman that Sam was listening to music on. Sam asked who made the iPod, and Alex responds with Apple, and Sam thought they were just a computer company, and Alex responds with "Not anymore, Apple's gonna kill Microsoft and Microsoft will be remembered for being a failed pile of crap for making pieces of crap that built up that pile!" That angered Sam to the point where Sam told Alex about the Xbox, Alex didn't buy it, Alex thought Xbox sounded stupid. Sam would ignore Alex until the day Mac OS X Puma released (September 25th, 2001), Sam thought Mac OS X was just gonna be around until Apple released Mac OS 11, but he realized that Mac OS X was gonna be around for a long time. When October rolled around, Sam was flipping through channels until he saw a commercial for Grand Theft Auto III for PlayStation 2, Sam bought the game on October 22, and that was a big thing for Sam to buy because GTA was going from a smaller top-down open-world adventure game to a violent, sexual, open-world adventure game in the third-person, but while GTA 3's positive impact on Sam was a big one (he never let children play GTA), no release would impact Sam more than a certain OS...
The release of Windows XP and the Xbox
On October 25th, 2001, Sam received his copy of Windows XP and almost immediately opened the box, took the CD out, and upgraded to Windows XP. When Windows XP was done installing, Sam thought it was the best OS he has ever used, and he stands by it to this day. Windows XP was the OS that Sam would call perfect, and he was glad he had that on his Gateway rather than Windows ME. during October 26, Sam gave Hazel a birthday present, it was a new Nokia 8250, Hazel was so happy that Sam gave her a cell phone, he and Hazel were pretty close. Sam was anticipating the release of the Xbox in November. Sam decided on not getting Final Fantasy X and instead save up for Microsoft's first foray into gaming.
Sam bought the Xbox on the day it launched (November 15, 2001) along with Halo, Sam was having fun with his friends on Halo, while Sam thought the Xbox was a good console, he thought it wasn't going to be as good as The PlayStation 2, but kept playing anyway.
Sam, Mike, Mary, Anna, Eric, Kimberly, and Scotty were going out to a Nu Metal concert and they were amazed. Sam later realized that he wasn't going to need an adult to drive for him forever, so he wanted to go to Driver's Ed, and by July of 2002, Sam started to drive, and by the next school year (his junior year of High School), Sam was driving himself to school, but he started to drive everyone to school (by everyone, that meant, David, Hazel, Zira, Eva, and Mark to Elementary School, Scotty to Middle School, and Mike, Mary, Anna, Eric, and Kimberly to High School). Sam had a great junior year, in 2003, Microsoft was looking into competing with Apple's Zarvox line of robotics, so Microsoft decided to get their robotics division and speech divisions together (which had involved Sam, Mike, and Mary), Microsoft wanted to bring the voices of Windows 2000 and XP in order to also be the models of the robots. Microsoft cloned them and robotized most of the clones, but they realized that Windows-run robots that look just like humans would cost more money than Apple's Zarvox robots (which the lastest Zarvox at the time, the Zarvox G4 cost $899 in 2003 at launch when adjusted for inflation would be $1,252.71, whereas Microsoft's upcoming Microsoft People project (Codenamed: Platinum) was estimated to cost $1,500 in 2004 when adjusted for inflation, would cost $2,035.95, so it was clear that Microsoft scrapped those bots after the cost estimation, Microsoft had half of each of the people of the Platinum project go to work other things, the Robotics team was temporarily closed and half the team members worked on the Xbox Live servers while half of the Speech Recognition team were working on the Mulan Engine used for Microsoft Longhorn. By senior year, Sam was already feeling like a graduate, and by his graduation of High School in 2004, Sam decided to wisely invest his Microsoft money into a new house. Sam moved in and became the owner of a new home.
In 2004, Anna, Sam's sister joined the Microsoft Speech Recognition Division, and once Anna's voice was accepted into a Windows beta, Codenamed Longhorn, this time, Anna's TTS voice was built on to the SAPI5 Mulan engine. Sam, Mike, and Mary would remain in the division until 2006, when Anna became a new member, after Longhorn's reset, Longhorn was redeveloped and was known as TheROFL98's favorite OS, AKA, Windows Vista. Sam was interested in Windows Vista, and by January 30th, 2007, on Mary and Anna's birthday, Sam installed Windows Vista, and saying Sam was disappointed would be considered an understatement, Sam outright hated Windows Vista to the point where he thought it was worse than Windows ME. Sam hated the OS to the point where it was the exact opposite of how he felt about XP and speaking of which, Sam downgraded back to Windows XP after an hour of installing Vista and a half an hour of using Vista.
Anna felt like Sam hated it because of jealousy, but Sam told Anna it wasn't her fault, and Anna decided to use it, only for her to hate it, not as much as Sam, but close. 2009 was when Windows 7 was released. Sam bought Windows 7 and installed it, this time on another partition. Sam thought Windows 7 was a huge improvement, to the point where it beats Windows 2000, but almost, barely holds a candle to Windows XP. As the 2000s ended and the 2010s began, Sam was commissioned by Microsoft to hold a private Windows 2000 dev team reunion in celebration towards the 10 Year Anniversary of Windows 2000 on Sam's 24th birthday (February 17th, 2010), that would be the last time Sam would be involved with Microsoft, aside from his nickname. By 2011, David, Hazel, and Zira become a part of Microsoft's Speech Recognition Division, almost around the same time Microsoft announced Windows 8. When Windows 8 got released, Anna left Microsoft, and Sam hated Windows 8 because of its Start Screen and nothing more, and Windows 8.1 had the Start Button which leads to the Start Screen. By June 2014, A person named Ken called Sam and talked him into hiring him for a new job...
Sam was hired by Kenstertube as part of a new entertainment division called Robofreaks, and Sam was excited to work with Ken, Sam's job was to read custom error messages sent to him via an error sender, while Sam was working for Kenstertube, David, Hazel, and Zira were on a business trip to London, Eva and Mark joined the Speech Recognition Division and have been working there ever since, though started to live with Sam in 2017, and Sam's career with Kenstertube's been doing well. Sam met Bacon on the day (Sam later met Gold) when Sam started to read errors, Bacon was obsessed to the point where Bacon became a part of Sam's error sessions by mere accident. Sam met Richard Reynolds, who was a mind-controlled victim of the Robot Mikes and Marys (the robots were a part of Microsoft's scrapped People line now infected with an unremovable virus known as the Genocide virus that had them turn evil), a person that was mind-controlled, named Richard almost killed Sam, but Richard's friend, Paul Peterson, or Microsoft Paul saved Richard before it was too late, and as a result, Richard started to be friends with Sam after his life was saved, Richard planned on getting his revenge on the Robot Mikes and Marys for what they did to him. Sam helped Richard, and by the time they were prepared, they were ready, Sam also started to read Signs and he also proposed to Kimberly. Richard and Sam worked together to kill the Robot Mikes and Marys by finding their weak spot, Robot Mike Unit 1 had a self destruct button that was the kill switch for all the units. The units were destroyed, LH Michael and LH Michelle join Sam's group of friends, David, Hazel and Zira return to Rofltown, Sam and Kimberly got married, Mike temporarily took over Sam's error-reading job while Sam was on his honeymoon.
Sam and Kimberly arrived home in May 2015, just when Sam was over with people hurting him, a new person who attempts at killing their life, Lightning Overseer Fredrick takes Kimberly hostage, and Sam, with the help of Mike, Richard, Eric, David, and Paul saved Kimberly, However, Fredrick almost kills them by setting up a bomb, but Sam and his friends survived, and Fredrick didn't, meaning that Fredrick's bomb backfired on him. Sam was satisfied after Fredrick was killed for attempting to kill them, Sam met 3 Clones that Microsoft made out of him, Mike and Mary with their SAPI5 voices, Natural Microsoft Sam, Natural Microsoft Mike, Natural Microsoft Mary, who work with AT&T Mike and his adoptive robotic son from a distant planet known as Geotoplis 12, Carl. Natural Sam captures Anna for a secret project that will surprise Sam. Richard gets a personal vendetta against The Naturals, Richard rescues Anna, and brings her to safety, angering Natural Sam. Sam and the gang agreed to take a vacation, and they come back in February 2016, when Natural Microsoft Sam captures everybody minus Sam, Michael, Michelle, and Scotty. AT&T Mike disobeys Natural Sam and eventually betrays them, and kills Natural Microsoft Sam, Mike and Mary by force-feeding them a poisoned cake. Carl disowns his father and continues the Naturals' secret project and the secret project used Anna's DNA and Blood, Linux programming codes, and a sample of Natural Microsoft Sam's tears, and he called her Linux Anna. Linux Anna came to Sam's door and knocks Sam out cold, Richard later calls the cops and has Linux Anna arrested, and Carl was de-reprogrammed (Natural Sam reprogrammed Carl to do his bidding), Carl became Richard's assistant and started to create a device called the Sleep Dream Teleporter Alternate Universe Device or SDTAUD (pronounced sed-taughed) for short, they used it on Sam to see what it would've been like if Sam hunted Linux Anna down, Sam chases Linux Anna in the alternate universe and eventually, Linux Anna leads Sam's group to San Francisco, CA. The gang got sent to Linux Anna's airship and it caused Sam to escape and let his friends out, however, they ended up getting into execution. Sam was forced to watch all the people he was friends with, getting electrocuted to death, and Sam had regretted to kill Linux Anna over an opinion on Linux, and after that, Sam kills Carl in the alternate universe and, Sam and Linux Anna fight each other and eventually, Linux Anna wins and Sam wakes up in the real world, after that, Sam lets Eva and Mark live with him. Watermelon comes to his life too.
- His birthday was taken from Windows 2000's release date.
- He shows emotions, which is a rare thing that some Microsoft Sams do (davemadson, nkrs200, TheROFL98, AOSP100, SamJoe404 to name a few), and in his newer upcoming designs, he will show more poses, giving new life to his design.
- He is one of the more developed Sams and has reasons why he hates Vista, loves XP, and is also one of the few versions of Microsoft Sam that have a love interest.
- His color is blue to make him stand out as one of the few Sams that use the color blue rather than the traditional red that most Sams are colored by and to a lesser extent yellow, which is another color coming from the Logo Blooper side of the TTS Community.