The Epic War

From The TTSCpedia

The Epic War (Known in YouTube Titles as Microsoft Sam: The Epic War) was a six-part science fiction comedy written by Akriloth2160, featuring Microsoft Sam and many other Speakonia voices fighting in a post-apocalyptic earth scenario against an evil supercomputer known as ROFL-9000. The series spans six episodes (Excluding the epilogue which was made separate due to the video time limit at the time), with the series finale notorious for being put on hold due to changes in technology and issues with recording equipment. The series has since been removed from YouTube due to Akriloth2160 closing his main account in December 2012, and Akriloth2160 has since made statements that due to concerns over the quality, speech-pace and advances in other areas that he's made since making the videos, he has no interest or ability to reupload them.

Key Elements

The series chronicles the adventures of the three key speakonia voices, Microsoft Sam, Microsoft Mike and Radar Overseer Scotty, during a post-apocalyptic earth caused by the accidental detonation of subterranian nukes involving the impact of a baloney sandwich on the activation switch. The three voices constantly fight against a supercomputer called ROFL-9000 which eventually becomes infamous for changing the key plot elements at the last minute.

Episode 1

Microsoft Sam expresses his constant boredom with life at the army base he was asked to run while the unidentified general he is covering for is out having a meal with his wife. After an attack from two mind-controlled jet planes, the guidance of Radar Overseer Scotty leads to a mind control tower being destroyed, provoking ROFL-9000 to provoke Sam into priming the nuclear warhead detonation system, which Scotty accidentally activates by dropping a baloney sandwich on the activation switch, resulting in the desolation of the planet.

Episode 2

Sam and Scotty manage to escape the destruction of the planet by means of a space shuttle, and are saved from an attack from ROFL-9000 by Microsoft Mike. They decide to return to Earth in order to find any survivors, only to finnd that the population has been reduced to ZOMGbies, which Scotty proceeds to destroy just before they mention something about an asteroid. Upon arrival on the surface of the planet, the only survivor is discovered to be a mutated ROFLOctopus known as Pinky, which Sam and Mike remember from their childhood. After revealing the one weapon which can provide the power (Indirectly, as it turns out) to defeat ROFL-9000, Pinky then proceeds to conceal the secret of the apology atom bomb by eating Sam, Mike and Scotty.

Episode 3

Pinky is (temporarily) destroyed by the ignition of the additional C4 that he ingested, allowing the gang to recover the apology atom bomb and install it in the ship's weapon systems. The gang then happen upon an unsuspicious-looking asteroid, which seems to show signs of life. Upon landing on the asteroid, a mysterious life form is reported to have boarded the space shuttle to exterminate the three Speakonia voices.

Episode 4

The lifeform turns out to be Iron Man, a literal living clothing iron created by ROFL-9000's nanomachines specifically for exterminating the gang by means of the random nonsense detonator, a weapon declared illegal for war use by the Speakonia convention which reduces the minds of the victims to a series of randomly generated thoughts. Sam falls victim to the weapon, and the gang get placed in a jail cell. Time passes by means of a caption, and our heroes get strapped into a machine which will extract their data and fire a pulse of energy into the earth's core, resetting the planet so that ROFL-9000 will have full jurisdiction over the planet. The episode ends as the laser fires.

Episode 5

It turns out the laser did next to nothing in terms of extracting the data, because ROFL-9000 printed the assembly instructions wrongly, resulting in Iron Man reading them wrongly. Nevertheless, Iron Man is disassembled by ROFL-9000 as our heroes escape back to the space shuttle, with Sam still remaining in a state of randomly generated thoughts. In an attempt to escape, our heroes are attacked by an attack drone sent by ROFL-9000, which is destroyed in a abattle which takes place behind a test card due to impied extreme violence and nudity (Which Scotty approves of to a rather disturbing extent). It turns out ROFL-9000 already gained a fragment of Sam's DNA, and decided to use it in the laser, in the first occurrence of ROFL-9000's fetish for changing the plot at the last minute. As Mike tries to rehabilitate Sam in the shuttle's holodeck, ROFL-9000 fires the laser and succeeds in resetting the planet.

Episode 6

The shuttle smuggles itself aboard the asteroid which travels into a cavern at the center of the earth. By working their way to the center of the cavern, it turns out that ROFL-9000 reassembled Iron Man and is using his power to recharge a "doom portal" in order to forge an army from the resulting eternal gods. Sam gives the gang away due to the fact that he doesn't have a whisper function. The doom portal is activated, releasing Joe Kerr, Microsoft Adolf, Peter Molyneux and The Jonas Brothers as the frontment in ROFL-9000's new army. The gang is then taken to a jail cell. They come across a hacker who turns out to be Sam and Mike's sister, Microsoft Mary. She hacks the data of all three characters, releasing the ultimate Speakonia voice, LOLtimus Prime, forged from the power of the apology atom bomb. Meanwhile, the Jonas Brothers are defeated by the sudden unexpected return of Pinky (Who assumingly regenerated from the planet being reset). As ROFL-9000 attempts to kill Pinky, the hacked, living embodiment of the gang mixed with the Apology Atom Bomb, known as "LOLtimus Prime", breaks into the room and self-destructs, causing the resulting shockwaves to trigger a chain reaction in the apex of reality (Which turns out to be located on the site of the British Houses of Parliament). Time collapses and reality goes beyond the infinite.


Sam escapes back into the time period at the start of Episode 1, with Mike and Scotty also taking their places in the past. Sam specifically denies Scotty the right to press the self-destruct button, and waits patiently as ROFL-9000 gets swallowed up by the time rift and goes beyond the infinite. Although it is decided that no one in the timeline will know of their victory, the gang decides to celebrate anyway (Much to the delight of Gimli). The credits then roll.


  • This is the first appearance of Radar Overseer Scotty in terms of name and personality
  • The attack drone ROFL-9000 sent out against the ship escaping from the asteroid is similar to the drones from sci-fi MMORPG, Eve Online
  • The test card censoring during the above sequence is one of many references that Akriloth2160 has made to Monty Python.
  • The introduction sequence to the last three episodes is a modified version of the introductory FMV to Command & Conquer: Red Alert 3, with the intro tune being Charigue by Scottish Bhangra group, Bombay Talkie.
  • Due to a delay between Episodes 5 and 6 which was brought about by the promise of Akriloth2160 having a voice cameo in the trailer for episode 6, the voice cameo was eventually scrapped and the episode was aired without. The trailer for episode 6 has been removed for this very reason.
  • While the series was not created by Thunderbirds101, elements from The Epic War were mentioned in The War in the Republic of My, thus making the former series canon in the Thunderbirds101 storyline.