Scottyvich Baloneykov

From The TTSCpedia

Scottyvich Baloneykov, with his illegally modified ROFL-47 machine gun and his ridiculous hat.

Scottyvich Baloneykov was the commander of the Soviet Lulz Brigade, an extremist splinter faction of the United Speakonian Soviet Republic. He was the evil twin of Radar Overseer Scotty. Baloneykov was an extremist left-wing communist, determined to wipe out the United Lols of Roflica. He also had a seething hatred against the USSR itself, after the country allied itself with the democratic nation he sought to destroy. While he was a brilliant military strategist, noted by his conquering of the Rofl Island Chain with impunity, his overestimation and miscalculations of The Supreme AI lead to his death, several days into the War in the ROFL Island Chain.

Early Life

Baloneykov was born at the same time as Radar Overseer Scotty at an unknown date, but led a low-profile life, away from the spotlight of YouTube, while his brother fought in The Epic War and the War in the Republic of My, among other things.

Service in the USSR

Baloneykov was widely described as one of the most hardline communists one could find on Earth 2. He is also an extremely proficient soldier. He served four tours, two in Pakistan and two in Sierra Leone between 2005-2007.

Terror Crimes and Downfall

While serving in Pakistan in 2006, Baloneykov raided a neighborhood in Islamabad, Pakistan with six other Spetsnaz soldiers. He targeted one house where an entire family was hiding in fear from the battles outside. Baloneykov saw the perfect opportunity to have some "fun". He first tortured the father with a rusty machete, mutilating him severely before he died from massive blood loss and shock. Next, he violently assaulted the mother for half an hour, before beheading her. Finally, he tortured the parents' small children, a young boy, and a girl. He poured scalding hot water over them and savagely beat them before he threw them both off the roof of the house. One of the Spetsnaz soldiers had to leave, as he could not handle the brutal torture. When the soldier addressed the United Nations in August 2007, he said, "Baloneykov is the most sadistic soldier I've ever seen. Not even Satan is as evil as this soldier."

Months later after the crimes were committed, the United Nations accused him of gross human rights violations after evidence was brought against him that he personally oversaw the gruesome torture and execution of enemy soldiers and civilians in Pakistan. He was also accused of using illegal weapons in Sierra Leone, such as grenade launchers outfitted to launch grenades filled with lethal chemical agents. As a result of these accusations, Pieboy6000 dishonorably discharged Baloneykov from the Spetsnaz. Infuriated with the move, Baloneykov fled to the underworld of Earth 2 and built up an organization of his own, known as the Soviet Lulz Brigade.

Constructing the Supreme AI

During his time in the underworld, Baloneykov used a ship to covertly visit Earth. Through illicit contacts in the United States government, he learned of a top secret project to develop a sentient artificial intelligence machine code-named "The Supreme AI." He hijacked the National Security Agency-led project and corrupted the AI's programming with extreme leftist ideology. Baloneykov escaped before the National Security Agency could stop the corruption. Consequently, the U.S. government launched a missile containing the rogue AI into space where it would launch its campaign of terror on Earth 2 three years later.

The Great Final War

During the chaotic time travel in the Great Final War, Microsoft Sam and his allies ultimately killed Baloneykov at Wake Island and destroyed the Supreme AI.

The War in the ROFL Island Chain

Four months after the War in the Republic of My ended, Baloneykov existed the shadows and revealed his organization, the Soviet Lulz Brigade. He allied his group with North Koroflia. Shortly after the alliance was announced, the USA, the USSR, and the Republic of My staged a covert attack on North Korea. However, the attack was detected and through the use of an orbital laser weapon, the communists wiped out the attack force. In retaliation, the Soviet Lulz Brigade and North Korea spearheaded an invasion on the ROFL Island Chain in the south Atlantic Ocean.


Days after the invasion, Baloneykov traveled to the remains of Earth with a team of elite men to rebuild The Supreme AI. They succeeded, but their recreation ultimately betrayed the Soviet Lulz Brigade, who felt the Soviet Lulz Brigade was a pathetic excuse of a military organization. She first sabotaged the shuttle Baloneykov and his men traveled in, killing all aboard except for the evil supercomputer herself, who teleported away to Earth 2.

Reaction to Baloneykov's death

AT88TV of Great Britain says that "the world will be a safer place, now that he's dead", after hearing of his death. However, celebrations were immediately muted, due to the Supreme AI being found on the Rofl Island Chain alive and the nuke attack on London.

ThePermian99 and the Austroflian government agrees with Great Loltain. "Earth 2 never wanted this dumbass, and what wasn't wanted should be destroyed." Although the celebration turned silent after the news from the Rofl Intelligence agency of The Supreme AI being found alive in the Rofl island chain.

Pieboy6000 of the USSR said, "His death is a little disappointing, as I didn't do it, however, it made the World a safer place." He sighed, and said, "Well, only for a moment. Of course, the dumbass revived the Supreme AI." Celebrations in Canaderp and the USSR instantly ceased after hearing about the Supreme AI's revival.

EmergencyRanger88 has been Informed about the death of BaloneyKov And a quote from Radar Overseer Viktor: "Our Overlord, EmergencyRanger88, has declared the day of his death a day of Joy for All of earth 2. And As for Pieboy, I'd like to annihilate his(BaloneyKov's) body with an oribal ROFL laser so it can be vaporized."

EASlol says about his death, "The world will be glad to be rid of him".

Therobloxmegaguy, leader of Mexilol is glad that Baloneykov will not be causing any more mayhem around Earth 2, but is devastated that The Supreme AI is back. He plans to keep his safety shields up in case the one-kilometer tsunami hits Lolrrero and the Coast of Baja Caliroflia in his country.

Thunderbirds360TV of Lolzil said "Now we have one less idiot on the world to worry about. The bad news is that he relived the Supreme AI".